“Firstly, I think your existence is a pathetic excuse for a life! Secondly, I require your assistance in the issue I twittered you about.”
“Okay I’ll do it for free”
“What! You’ll do it for free! Are you crazy! Are you … oh, okay.”
The next day, Five convinced his sister to tag along with him.
“Is this not a day that calls for the solving of a mystery or the discovering of something lost? Come sister, let us embark on a quest to this abandoned shack I recently discovered and see if we can unlock some of the secrets of the past.”
The younger sister, who failed all her mid semester exams and had no idea what her brother was talking about, agreed enthusiastically. They came to the shack
“What are all these TNT barrels doing around this shack Five.”
“Oh, they are barrels containing toys. Go inside and you’ll find a whole bunch”
The little kitten gleefully pounced into the Shack. Immediately, the shack went up in flames and the kitten had perished. The arsonist came out from behind a tree to gloat about his work.
“Yes, I agree arsonist. And the best thing about your performance is that there were no witnesses! Meow!”
Five had pushed the arsonist into the burning building to die. He managed to retrieve the burnt carcass of his sister and placed it the fridge, just after he put it in a bowl of sauces and marinades so it saturates overnight. The kitten was ready to cook.
The next day, the kitten put on his best toque and began preparing the greatest buffet he would ever prepare. He went crazy with the recipes. Kitten Fungi, Kitten Bosciolla, Kitten Parmagana, kitten with caviar, kitten just grilled, Kitten with Mongolian sauce, Kitten Laksa and Kitten Rolls. Five had just about to get into it when his mother arrived.
“Oh, hello Mother. I haven’t seen you for a while. Would you like to join me.”
The mother couldn’t refuse. She dived into the food, not knowing that she was eating her own children. Five was ecstatic. This long awaited meal had finally been served. That horrible urge inside of him was melting away with every bite.
“Where are your brothers and sisters Five?”
“Oh, I’m sure there around”
The two cats finished the banquet. For Five it marked the beginning if a new chapter in his life. He had surpassed his adolescent urges into maturity.
“Well thankyou Five, that was delicious. Now time for dessert.”
“But mother, I didn’t make dessert.”
“Oh, I know Five.”
Slowly, the mother took out a can of whipped cream from her carry bag and began spraying a swirl on Five’s head …
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If you have enjoyed these stories about the misadventures of Five, you ought to check out http://gattinamycats.blogspot.com/.
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