The Acolyte and the First Task

Marching up those stairs with pride in his heart and anticipation in the air, the acolyte could not imagine the glory that he would enjoy after visiting the three hermit monks. He spent years learning the ancient ways and now he is ready to do the three tasks, designed by the three hermit monks. Accomplishing these challenges will lead to certain enlightenment. They say that the challenge of these tasks were like facing death right in the face, but the acolyte had done everything to ensure that he was fully prepared. He performed the Hooty Tooty dance on burning coals with his bare feet. He battled the two eyed Cyclops with only a Popsicle stick. He was able to out pogo stick hop the lavas of Volcano Orieon when it erupted. He even managed to save the entire village of Bati Pow Wow from the tribe of mutant wolves who could shoot lasers from there eyes and lightening from there mouths. So he marched on, to meet the first monk at the top of Mount Ifiris. As he reached the peak a dormant temple laid in the setting sun’s light. The acolyte ventured through the temple door.

On a purple bean bag sat a fat and old man, the first monk. The acolyte couldn’t help but glee as he approached the snoring octogenarian. His years of hard work was about to be paid off. He didn’t have to get closer to the monk until his presence was noticed. The monk opened his eyes and majestically emptied out his sinuses onto the edge of the cushion. The acolyte arrived at the foot of the monk, kneeling in respect.

“What brings you to my humble abode, acolyte?”

“I’ve come to seek enlightenment, oh wise one. Show me the way.”

“hmmm, enlightenment aye?”

The monk unfolded his legs, kicked off his sandals and stretched out his feet.

“To achieve enlightenment, you must first awaken your senses by eating the fruits of my wisdom.”

The monk was referring to his toe jam. The acolyte looked at the monk. Was the monk being serious? He asked if there was another way and the monk answered negative. Not wanting to offend the monk, the acolyte complied. He took a deep breath and started with the left foot, then the right foot. The acolyte finished sucking the wrinkly pinkie of the old man before bursting out of the temple, tumbling down the stairs. Even though the acolyte was hurt and mentally scarred for life, he was determined to continue his journey towards enlightenment.